I
think when you are scared of something you do your best to ignore or not
acknowledge it. This is what I have been doing with the information I am about
to tell you.
I haven't been able to sit and write a post about what I am about to experience because if I did I would be admitting that one of the things I'm most scared of is about to happen.
I have been preparing to go back to work recently & went to my eye specialist on Tuesday where I got the most surprising, wonderful, scary information to date. Since my eyes have "stabilized" more than expected the Doctor was able to offer me surgery sooner. Not just one surgery, but two. Once the surgery to remove the extra growing tissues from behind my eyes is healed there will be another one to remove some sections of my eyelids to complete the "look".
(& so begins the war with the government to get more time off for surgery/recuperation again)
The interesting aspect of the surgery is that you have to bring in about ten high quality photos for the surgeon to work off during the procedure. He didn’t know what I looked like before I had Graves. I have always been a bulgy-eyed patient to him. He must carefully sculpt behind my eyes and take out enough tissues to leave room for my eyes to expand back into a replica of what I used to look like. It is nerve-racking leaving the permanent fate of your appearance in the hands of someone else.
The recovery time is about a month as there is significant swelling and bruising associated with some eye surgeries. I will also be left with visible incision scars around my eyes for some time.
When I left my eye appointment the Doctor told me his office would be in contact with me for a surgery date within the month. Anyone who knows the Alberta Health Care system understands that we generally have long surgery wait times.
The next day the Royal Alec hospital called me to give me my surgery date.
May 23rd.
May 23rd?!?!! That's like...a month away. No, that's 28 days away from now (but who’s counting right?)
I was completely blindsided hearing that my surgery was in less than 30 days. I sat there; anxious, happy, overwhelmed, scared, but mentally unprepared assuming I had months to process what was about to happen to me. But it's everything I had been wishing for right?
I look at before & after pictures of patients on the internet who got the same surgery and I get emotional looking at their pictures. Gazing at the beautiful images of recovered patients is enough to bring tears to my eyes. I know exactly how much that surgery probably meant to them and I admire the courage it took to get through all the pain and emotions that come with it.
I never once thought "why do I have to go through this? Why is this happening to me?" but lately, all I want to do is scream "%#@$ GRAVES!!!!" off a building top.
I'm growing increasingly frustrated with the symptoms and surgical solutions to each problem. Within the last two months I've also noticed that my hair started falling out in clumps which is a common symptom of thyroid related conditions.
I am also still getting heart tests regularity and completing monthly blood work because my B12 and red + white blood cells are constantly low, comprising my already weak immune system. I feel like I am taking more pills to control my Graves symptoms than my Grandmother takes. I have to take ‘Synthroid’ for my thyroid levels, ‘Bisoprolol’ to control my heart rate, Iron pills to raise my blood cell count, B12 + Calcium pills, Selenium for my eyes and an antibiotic pill to control the havoc of break outs on my face from the fluctuating thyroid levels.
I went to get a cavity filled and the dentist wouldn't do it until I went and got a medical clearance note from my family Doctor to assure him I wasn't going to be a liability for him. And now, I am about to erase the (hopefully) last outward reminder of what I go through on a daily basis and fix the devastation Graves Disease has caused on my eyes.
I found it extremely helpful to view before and after pictures of other surgery patients and I will be posting mine post-operation as well.
Send healing thought’s my way next month and I will check in again when I am recovered.
Until then;
Rayanne
I haven't been able to sit and write a post about what I am about to experience because if I did I would be admitting that one of the things I'm most scared of is about to happen.
I have been preparing to go back to work recently & went to my eye specialist on Tuesday where I got the most surprising, wonderful, scary information to date. Since my eyes have "stabilized" more than expected the Doctor was able to offer me surgery sooner. Not just one surgery, but two. Once the surgery to remove the extra growing tissues from behind my eyes is healed there will be another one to remove some sections of my eyelids to complete the "look".
(& so begins the war with the government to get more time off for surgery/recuperation again)
The interesting aspect of the surgery is that you have to bring in about ten high quality photos for the surgeon to work off during the procedure. He didn’t know what I looked like before I had Graves. I have always been a bulgy-eyed patient to him. He must carefully sculpt behind my eyes and take out enough tissues to leave room for my eyes to expand back into a replica of what I used to look like. It is nerve-racking leaving the permanent fate of your appearance in the hands of someone else.
The recovery time is about a month as there is significant swelling and bruising associated with some eye surgeries. I will also be left with visible incision scars around my eyes for some time.
When I left my eye appointment the Doctor told me his office would be in contact with me for a surgery date within the month. Anyone who knows the Alberta Health Care system understands that we generally have long surgery wait times.
The next day the Royal Alec hospital called me to give me my surgery date.
May 23rd.
May 23rd?!?!! That's like...a month away. No, that's 28 days away from now (but who’s counting right?)
I was completely blindsided hearing that my surgery was in less than 30 days. I sat there; anxious, happy, overwhelmed, scared, but mentally unprepared assuming I had months to process what was about to happen to me. But it's everything I had been wishing for right?
I look at before & after pictures of patients on the internet who got the same surgery and I get emotional looking at their pictures. Gazing at the beautiful images of recovered patients is enough to bring tears to my eyes. I know exactly how much that surgery probably meant to them and I admire the courage it took to get through all the pain and emotions that come with it.
I never once thought "why do I have to go through this? Why is this happening to me?" but lately, all I want to do is scream "%#@$ GRAVES!!!!" off a building top.
I'm growing increasingly frustrated with the symptoms and surgical solutions to each problem. Within the last two months I've also noticed that my hair started falling out in clumps which is a common symptom of thyroid related conditions.
I am also still getting heart tests regularity and completing monthly blood work because my B12 and red + white blood cells are constantly low, comprising my already weak immune system. I feel like I am taking more pills to control my Graves symptoms than my Grandmother takes. I have to take ‘Synthroid’ for my thyroid levels, ‘Bisoprolol’ to control my heart rate, Iron pills to raise my blood cell count, B12 + Calcium pills, Selenium for my eyes and an antibiotic pill to control the havoc of break outs on my face from the fluctuating thyroid levels.
I went to get a cavity filled and the dentist wouldn't do it until I went and got a medical clearance note from my family Doctor to assure him I wasn't going to be a liability for him. And now, I am about to erase the (hopefully) last outward reminder of what I go through on a daily basis and fix the devastation Graves Disease has caused on my eyes.
I found it extremely helpful to view before and after pictures of other surgery patients and I will be posting mine post-operation as well.
Send healing thought’s my way next month and I will check in again when I am recovered.
Until then;
Rayanne
