I am about to attempt the seemingly impossible;
...and Blog about the orbital decompression surgery I had last week while still experiencing double vision. So follow along and thank heavens that auto correct has already been invented! :)
My surgery went ahead as scheduled on May 23rd, 2012. Most of my operations have been pretty routine so I couldn’t help but notice the increased amount of interest this procedure had stirred up from inquiring minds wanting to know more about what was going to happen. I read through hundred’s of Facebook, Twitter & E-mail messages from friends and family sending me positive vibes or asking questions leading up to the little known surgery.
After an overnight stay in the Royal Alexandra Hospital, 16 needles, one painful eye decompression surgery and 7 days later; here I sit, homely and pathetic looking, but one day closer to recovery.
The moment I remember waking up from surgery was terrifying because, unknown to me, the surgeon had put a Vaseline based product in both eyes so when I opened them I everything was a complete blur. I assumed for a few seconds I had lost my vision until I was reassured it could be washed out with saline. I also have 7 uncomfortable stitches healing in each eye. My worse memory of the surgery is the extreme nausea for the first 2 days along with all the injections of medication to help fight it.
The first day after was probably the easiest because the swelling doesn’t really begin until 24-48 hours after, which is when the pain really kicks in. Although after my eyes were washed out, I had and still currently have double vision. The surgeon has told me that it is expected to stay for about two weeks while the swelling continues to go down but there is still a chance it could be permanent.
I still feel pressure from behind my eyes similar to before the surgery but it’s more of a swollen feeling. I was never the type of person to get much swelling or bruising after other injuries so I’ve come out of this operation much less bulgy looking than pictures I’ve seen online of others who went through the same thing. I feel cross-eyed and like I am unintentionally staring at things because I just can’t seem to find a comfortable place to let my eyes rest at yet.
The bottom part of my eyes are swollen upwards so I can’t see the entire view of what’s around me and walking into walls and a vacuum cleaner has already reminded me of this. I closed one eye to see text message’s clearly or watch TV in the first few days. Post-surgery all eye patients must sleep on an upright angle for a week to keep the swelling down and nearly every hour of my days were spent hiding under an icepack. On the 4th day of healing, my right eye also poured a bit of blood for a few minutes and then stopped which was a very creepy surprise. Since it has only been a week, I dont have much more to add about the recovery process but will update in a future post, along with fully healed eye pictures.
(Click to enlarge)
Overall, so far I like the results. Its nerve racking not knowing if my vision will be permanently impaired but it’s also freeing to already see the beginning of a somewhat normal looking appearance again.
“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.”
Through these last few years I’ve come to notice that the problem with dealing with a serious illness in your early 20's is unfortunately there are still many, many immature people around who can't ever comprehend how difficult going through something like this is.
Being diagnosed with a Disease almost no one’s heard of and having to go through all the symptoms and surgeries while no one else you know is can be extremely alienating. I've been made fun of to my face at bars by drunk people making their eyes appear bigger while walking by me laughing. I've had mean girls write me while hiding behind a computer screen saying “I deserved this and its karma paying me back” as a result of declining to continue friendships in the previous years. It's ironic that the same people who said these things have been tracked viewing my blog via IP addresses multiple times. So to them, I would like to say;
If you are looking for a self-destruction story, you won't find it here. What I have been through mentally, physically and surgically has made me so strong. I gained the motivation to do better and for all the hard times; fate has rewarded me immensely in making some of my other dreams come true.
"What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise."
I feel so blessed to have learned such valuable life lessons at a young age. I learned that beauty fades, so there better be a wonderful personality underneath too. I learned that objects are replaceable but family moments aren't and it's important to surround yourself with those who make you smile. I learned to appreciate all the wonderful, mysterious, almost coincidental moments in life because usually they aren't coincidental at all but rather a lesson put in your path.
Some have said that there are special people placed in our lives to teach us, to love us, to hurt us & to make us exactly the way we should be. I agree with this theory in sickness as well. Some lucky folks will stay healthy their entire lives, some tiny miracles will be born with defects and some, like myself, get sick as a reminder to others that no one is immortal. So seize the day, find your passion and most importantly; just be kind to others.
"Never deprive someone of hope. It may be all they have."
Since launching this website, I’ve had the pleasure of meeting some media and business people who I have silently admired from the shadows for years who praised me on my writing, some even extending future job opportunities. I have been showered with beautiful cards, flowers and emails from generous people who I have not yet met but have read my story. I am forever grateful for their kind words guiding my sometimes hopeless spirit through my darkest days. To hear repeatedly that my website is bookmarked on people's computer is the highest compliment to me, and I thank you endlessly for coming along this journey with me.
(Beautiful gifts from visitors post surgery!)
I've posted private, emotional details and pictures I was ashamed of for the world to see in hopes that I can help be a source of information for the next generation of graves disease patients while educating the general public.
I still have another operation in my near future to remove some eyelid from each eye once the healing is complete from this last surgery. It will be my 5th, and hopefully last operation needed since being diagnosed with Graves Disease in 2010. As always, I will include pictures once my healing is complete.
Going through this journey has opened my eyes to a problem I never knew existed in Alberta as well…
Our E.I system only covers 15 weeks of medical benefits at a time and after dealing with several very unpleasant and downright hurtful Service Canada employees, after recovery I will be beginning my crusade to help people in my situation with income support while ill. After being told by the government to sell and live off the money of my only possession left that Graves hasn’t robbed me of, my car, I think it’s safe to say we may have a flawed system. Armed with multiple Doctors notes for time off, I was still unable to receive any assistance while recovering from surgery. If anyone reading has any leads of the right people to contact, please e mail me.
Off to rest my eyes and continue the healing process!
As always, to my loving family; Marty, Kim & Lauren… thank you for being my rock, my wonder wall & my reason to keep going. I love you.
“Anyone can give up; it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.”
...and Blog about the orbital decompression surgery I had last week while still experiencing double vision. So follow along and thank heavens that auto correct has already been invented! :)
My surgery went ahead as scheduled on May 23rd, 2012. Most of my operations have been pretty routine so I couldn’t help but notice the increased amount of interest this procedure had stirred up from inquiring minds wanting to know more about what was going to happen. I read through hundred’s of Facebook, Twitter & E-mail messages from friends and family sending me positive vibes or asking questions leading up to the little known surgery.
After an overnight stay in the Royal Alexandra Hospital, 16 needles, one painful eye decompression surgery and 7 days later; here I sit, homely and pathetic looking, but one day closer to recovery.
The moment I remember waking up from surgery was terrifying because, unknown to me, the surgeon had put a Vaseline based product in both eyes so when I opened them I everything was a complete blur. I assumed for a few seconds I had lost my vision until I was reassured it could be washed out with saline. I also have 7 uncomfortable stitches healing in each eye. My worse memory of the surgery is the extreme nausea for the first 2 days along with all the injections of medication to help fight it.
The first day after was probably the easiest because the swelling doesn’t really begin until 24-48 hours after, which is when the pain really kicks in. Although after my eyes were washed out, I had and still currently have double vision. The surgeon has told me that it is expected to stay for about two weeks while the swelling continues to go down but there is still a chance it could be permanent.
I still feel pressure from behind my eyes similar to before the surgery but it’s more of a swollen feeling. I was never the type of person to get much swelling or bruising after other injuries so I’ve come out of this operation much less bulgy looking than pictures I’ve seen online of others who went through the same thing. I feel cross-eyed and like I am unintentionally staring at things because I just can’t seem to find a comfortable place to let my eyes rest at yet.
The bottom part of my eyes are swollen upwards so I can’t see the entire view of what’s around me and walking into walls and a vacuum cleaner has already reminded me of this. I closed one eye to see text message’s clearly or watch TV in the first few days. Post-surgery all eye patients must sleep on an upright angle for a week to keep the swelling down and nearly every hour of my days were spent hiding under an icepack. On the 4th day of healing, my right eye also poured a bit of blood for a few minutes and then stopped which was a very creepy surprise. Since it has only been a week, I dont have much more to add about the recovery process but will update in a future post, along with fully healed eye pictures.
(Click to enlarge)
Overall, so far I like the results. Its nerve racking not knowing if my vision will be permanently impaired but it’s also freeing to already see the beginning of a somewhat normal looking appearance again.
“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.”
Through these last few years I’ve come to notice that the problem with dealing with a serious illness in your early 20's is unfortunately there are still many, many immature people around who can't ever comprehend how difficult going through something like this is.
Being diagnosed with a Disease almost no one’s heard of and having to go through all the symptoms and surgeries while no one else you know is can be extremely alienating. I've been made fun of to my face at bars by drunk people making their eyes appear bigger while walking by me laughing. I've had mean girls write me while hiding behind a computer screen saying “I deserved this and its karma paying me back” as a result of declining to continue friendships in the previous years. It's ironic that the same people who said these things have been tracked viewing my blog via IP addresses multiple times. So to them, I would like to say;
If you are looking for a self-destruction story, you won't find it here. What I have been through mentally, physically and surgically has made me so strong. I gained the motivation to do better and for all the hard times; fate has rewarded me immensely in making some of my other dreams come true.
"What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise."
I feel so blessed to have learned such valuable life lessons at a young age. I learned that beauty fades, so there better be a wonderful personality underneath too. I learned that objects are replaceable but family moments aren't and it's important to surround yourself with those who make you smile. I learned to appreciate all the wonderful, mysterious, almost coincidental moments in life because usually they aren't coincidental at all but rather a lesson put in your path.
Some have said that there are special people placed in our lives to teach us, to love us, to hurt us & to make us exactly the way we should be. I agree with this theory in sickness as well. Some lucky folks will stay healthy their entire lives, some tiny miracles will be born with defects and some, like myself, get sick as a reminder to others that no one is immortal. So seize the day, find your passion and most importantly; just be kind to others.
"Never deprive someone of hope. It may be all they have."
Since launching this website, I’ve had the pleasure of meeting some media and business people who I have silently admired from the shadows for years who praised me on my writing, some even extending future job opportunities. I have been showered with beautiful cards, flowers and emails from generous people who I have not yet met but have read my story. I am forever grateful for their kind words guiding my sometimes hopeless spirit through my darkest days. To hear repeatedly that my website is bookmarked on people's computer is the highest compliment to me, and I thank you endlessly for coming along this journey with me.
(Beautiful gifts from visitors post surgery!)
I've posted private, emotional details and pictures I was ashamed of for the world to see in hopes that I can help be a source of information for the next generation of graves disease patients while educating the general public.
I still have another operation in my near future to remove some eyelid from each eye once the healing is complete from this last surgery. It will be my 5th, and hopefully last operation needed since being diagnosed with Graves Disease in 2010. As always, I will include pictures once my healing is complete.
Going through this journey has opened my eyes to a problem I never knew existed in Alberta as well…
Our E.I system only covers 15 weeks of medical benefits at a time and after dealing with several very unpleasant and downright hurtful Service Canada employees, after recovery I will be beginning my crusade to help people in my situation with income support while ill. After being told by the government to sell and live off the money of my only possession left that Graves hasn’t robbed me of, my car, I think it’s safe to say we may have a flawed system. Armed with multiple Doctors notes for time off, I was still unable to receive any assistance while recovering from surgery. If anyone reading has any leads of the right people to contact, please e mail me.
Off to rest my eyes and continue the healing process!
As always, to my loving family; Marty, Kim & Lauren… thank you for being my rock, my wonder wall & my reason to keep going. I love you.
“Anyone can give up; it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.”
-Rayanne
